Lately, I have struggled with my purpose for being in Bolivia. I love the country. I love the people. I enjoy the culture even though it forces me to be more outgoing than I really am. (This may surprise some of you because I always seem outgoing, but I actually really enjoy time alone.) I love the food. I love the people I work with and how encouraging and patient they are with me. I love the kids I work with even when I may not like them too much.
It has been very exhausting for me lately because I am struggling to do something I have never attempted to do in a new language. Then, I battle with feelings of inadequacy. In all reality, I am probably doing a lot better than I thing I am. I love working with kids. They are so loving and accepting. However, my kids are also very challenging. They don't seem to understand what obedience is or how to show respect. I try to be patient because I understand a lot of it is just cultural differences in how children are treated and expected to act.
I was reading Jeremiah 20 today. I found it so encouraging because the battle I am facing is totally internal. I am not facing persecution. Life could be so much harder and more painful. At the same time I am facing realities about myself. I am unsure where God is leading me for the future. I know I prefer working with teens around 11-15, than older or younger. I know now that if it is not directly related to God, I am not a teacher. I like helping people, being of assistance, and encouraging others in what they are good at. I am asking for prayers on where God will have me in a year. I personally want to return to this country I have fallen in love with, but I will return to the States if that is where God wants me.
29 "I know that when I come to you, I will come in the full measure of the blessing of Christ.30 I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. 31 Pray that I may be kept safe from the unbelievers in Judea and that the contribution I take to Jerusalem may be favorably received by the Lord’s people there," Romans 15:29-31
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